The American Book of the Dead Book Review

While working on my latest draft based on the comments of my editor, Erin Stropes, I decided to check out the last novel that she had edited. "The American Book of the Dead" by Henry Baum was self-published last year and has won a surprisingly number of awards for a self-published title. Henry Baum is also the editor of the Self-Publishing Review and for those of you who remember, recommended Erin to me as an editor based on her work on "American Book of the Dead"."The American Book of the Dead" tells the story of Eugene Myers, a father at the end of his rope, who discovers that the book that he is writing accurately predicts the end of the world. The novel follows his attempts to warn humanity, the apocalypse and the aftermath. In the meantime, Eugene must also deal with his dysfunctional daughter, a disintegrating marriage and a crazy president who believes that he is the messiah.The strongest part of the novel is Baum's writing. Starting with the Douglas Coupland-like opening which straddles bizarre and absurd, the dread of the upcoming apocalypse, the bloody aftermath and the surreal lunacy of the American president, Henry Baum does show that he has some writing skill. Another strength is the uniqueness of the tale. Most stories follow a fairly predictable story arc, Baum on the other hand leads his story down some unpredictable paths. It's great because you never know quite what to expect.That said, there are some glaring weaknesses with the text. Baum's characterization of the president, an obvious joke against George W. Bush, comes off as derivative and uninspired. I did not believe for a second that this individual could become president, or that he would be able to lead America willingly into a suicidal nuclear war. A disastrous war in Iraq, yes, but a world war, not believable. Baum needs the US President to be an idiotic buffoon to start the apocalypse but that is far less interesting than an antagonistic that is smart and cunning.A final weakness with the novel is the ending, which seemingly comes out of nowhere. While I'm not going to describe it here, it does come off as Deus Ex Machina.However despite its flaws, "The American Book of the Dead" is an entertaining read, most due to the excellent prose of Henry Baum. I look forward to reading his next book.

The Name of the Wind Review

Upon the advice of my co-worker Frederick, I recently read through the novel "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss. In "The Name of the Wind", an old barkeeper by the name of Kvothe recounts the story of his exceptional youth to a passing scribe while a foreboding dark menace closes in on their valley. Given that I spent a couple of months reading through the text, I felt that it might be a good idea to write a review about the novel and the lessons that I draw from it for my own work.The book is the first of a planned trilogy whereas each book takes place during one of the three days that Kvothe has set aside to tell his story. In Day One (The Name of the Wind), Kvothe recounts his idealic youth, the brutal murder of his family, years of poverty, and the beginning of his education as a archanist at the University.Koevthe begins his story to the passing scribe, named the Chronicler, by recounting his idealic youth with his parents on a performing troupe that travels the world. Here the author, Patrick Rothfuss, works very hard and spends many pages establishing the young character of Kvothe, the characters in his life, and how happy and perfect everything is in his life. By this time, we know at something bad is going to happen to Kvothe and we anxiously await its occurrence but Patrick Rothfuss takes an extremely long time in order to get there. This establishes a recurring problem with this novel. When everything goes well for Kvothe, the story drags. When things go badly for Kvothe, the novel soars.Once Kvothe's traveling troupe is murdered and Kvothe is orphaned, the story immediately picks up steam. I was enthralled by Kvothe's struggle for survival: first in the surrounding wood and then later when he moves to a city reminiscent of industrial England. This section evoked the best work of Charles Dicksons and we cheer on young Kvothe as he fights for every last jolt (like a penny).After several years of poverty, Kvothe makes his way to the University where he always dreamed of attending. Here he gains admittance through his own inherent brilliance and then wows both students and teachers with amazing feat after incredible adventure after scintillating victory. Once again the novel drags. Some commentators have suggested that this section is more realistic and thus superior to the in-school drama of the Harry Potter series. Unfortunately, I am not able to agree. I found the high school drama in the Harry Potter series (especially in the Goblet of Fire) to be far more engaging then the characters and squabbles that Kvothe encounters. Rowling had this rare gift in creating characters that were extremely easy to visualize and thus remember. After spending twenty hours with Rothfuss' characters, I still can't remember the names of Kvothe's best friends. Kvothe's struggles with his love Denna work much better precisely because Kvothe is eternally frustrated in trying to win her heart. All in all, I found the University section to be slow in tedious precisely because it is too easy for Kvothe to overcome his obstacles.The story picks up again when Kvothe leaves the University to investigate the massacre of a wedding, finds Denna, and then is forced to battle a dragonus (Rothfuss' version of a dragon). This is by far the most exciting part of the novel as Kvothe and Denna are constantly forced to use their wits in order to survive a growing series of obstacles, climaxing with an effective battle with the dragonus in a local village.The Name of the Wind is an enjoyable read but it's biggest weakness is in its structure. There is no single narrative thread that ties the story together. There is the approaching evil but that is saved for the next books in the trilogy. There are some compelling episodes but they don't tie together. Thus we are left without a main storyline. In the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling uses a mystery to tie the events within a novel together while giving her the freedom to establish characters and plot lines that carry on from book. The Harry Potter novels stand well alone as individual books. The same cannot be said for The Name of the Wind. Instead it reads as the first part of really long novel, much to it's detriment.In conclusion, the Name of the Wind has some excellent text but is undermined by its lack of a coherent structure.

Inception and the Rules of Writing about Virtual Worlds

Upon seeing Christopher Nolan's Inception, I was filled by both joy and sorrow. Joy because Inception is an outstanding film created by a craftsman at the top of his game. Sorrow because it made my own novel about imaginary worlds, Evermore: Call of the Nocturne, look amateurish in comparison.Upon closer inspection, however, Inception demonstrates why it is so difficult to write stories that take place in a broadly-defined "virtual world".  The problem with writing stories in such places is that it can difficult to come up with challenges for the protagonists than are not easily overcome. For example, if you can do anything in the dreamworld, then what's to stop your hero from magically solving every problem that comes his way? "Oh no. There's a tiger blocking my path." Shazam! "I've just created a laser cannon. Problem solved! Where's my cake?" Thus for a story that takes place in a virtual world, writers must adopt the following rule:Rule #1: The rules of the virtual world must be established early on in the story and must limit the power of the protagonists.Stories that take place in virtual worlds must come up with a series of rules that limit the options available to the protagonists. These rules must be clear, concise, and explained early on in the story.The first Matrix movie works well because it effectively defines the rules governing the world early on in the movie in a way that is easy to understand. Morpheus teaches Neo, and by the extension the audience, the rules of the Matrix by demonstrating them visually. These rules and the consequences that bind stick with audience as the action moves into its exciting third act. Without these rules, the action at the end of the movie would be rather meaningless and ultimately confusing.Christopher follows this rule to the letter. The first half of Inception is dedicated to introducing the dreamscapes of the not-so-distant-future and the rules that govern them.1) If you die in the dreamworld, then you wake up safe and sound.2) However, if you are too heavily sedated when you are killed in the dreamworld, you will not wake up. Instead, you will go to a special place called Limbo where you will trapped for eternity while your brain turns to mush.3) If option #1 is not available due to heavy sedation, then you can still use a 'kick' (sensation of falling) from the host of the dream in order to wake the everyone up.4) if you are in a dream, you can enter a dream within a dream using the same methods as before (sedation).5) If you are in a dream-within-a dream, then you can step out of the innermost dream through death in the innermost dream or by a kick in the surrounding dream.6) If you are in limbo then you can escape it by killing yourself. Even if you are heavily sedated.etc.In accordance with Rule #1, Nolan establishes these rules early and demonstrates them in a visual way that the audience can understand. However, right from the get-go, Nolan encounters a problem with his rules. At the beginning of the heist, death is not a likely threat. It is established early that when killed inside a dream, they simply return to the outlying world, free of harm.Thus the second lesson that we should draw when writing about virtual worlds is the following:Rule #2: The protagonists must be able to die or suffer a fate worse than death in the virtual world.The threat of death or a fate worse than death must remain a possibility. Sure, part of the fun of writing about a virutal world is the cool stuff that your characters are permitted to do.  Run up walls, stop bullets, learn kung-fu in second. But without the threat of death, our characters never seem to be in any real danger and thus the action falls flat. Thus we must maintain the threat of death in the virtual world. For the Matrix, the solution is easy "The mind makes it real." If you die in the virtual world, the mind believes that it is dead and thus kills the otherwise healthy body. In Neuromancer, you could have brain fried and end up a vegetable. In Inception, you could end up in Limbo.The Wachowski brothers encountered a problem with this rule when they tried to make a sequel to The Matrix. How do you make the action exciting when you've essentially turned your main character in to a god? If he's too powerful then it doesn't really matter what he does. The Wachowski brothers tried to get around the problem by creating more powerful enemies and simply removing him from the action. Think about it. The most enthralling action sequences are those in which Neo is not involved. This is because for him, death is a distant possibility. Instead, we find ourselves identifying with Morpheus and Trinity because their deaths remain a likely possibility.In Inception, death is not possible. However, under certain circumstances you and end up a place called Limbo. In Limbo, time is infinite. You can spend a lifetime doing whatever you while only seconds pass in the real world. Losing the ability to tell the difference between the real world and the dream world, your mind degrades into mush. The concept is an interesting one and would certainly satisfy the requirements of Rule #2.The problem for Nolan occurs when you examine the rules more closely. At first they can enter minds and be killed without consequence. Then it becomes that if you are heavily sedated, then death will put you into Limbo. However, if you already in Limbo then death will pull you out of it. If the ending is a dream, then Ariadne and the mark must have escaped from Limbo by the sensation of falling (a kick) inside Limbo at the same time as the kick is done in the next outer level of dreams. Once you start to examine it, Nolan's rules fall apart under the weight of their own logic. The rules are inconsistently applied and instead of reflecting the realities of the dreamworld instead seem to exist solely to serve the conveniences of the plot.Inceptions' problems result because it hadn't followed a third and final rule.Rule #3: The rules governing the virtual world cannot change.A rule is a rule is a rule. There can be no exceptions or changes to the rules. Otherwise, you will confuse the audience and weaken the cohesiveness of the virtual world you have created. This is what happens in Inception. Christopher Nolan spends the first half of the movie explain the rules of the dream world but then throws them out the window when the plot demands it. The abrupt changes in consequence immediately confuses the audience and the excuse of heavy sedation is not compelling. A better excuse would be the training that the mark has received makes it more dangerous for people invading his mind. Neuromancer used something similar. When hacking in virtual reality, the threat of having your mind fried from counterintrusion measures was a likely possibility. It is to Nolan's credit as a filmmaker that we don't notice these inconsistencies when we watch the movie the first time. It is only upon reflection that we realize that the logic of the movie doesn't work and the reason that it doesn't work is that the rules are inconsistent.So how does my own story, Evermore: Call of the Nocturne, stand up against these three rules? While not as innovative and original as Inception, Evermore: COTN (after many rewrites) thus conform to the roles listed above. When you enter Evermore, your mind is protected by a series of security protocols. These security protocols make sure that no matter what happens to you in the virtual world of Evermore, you will be able to wake up in your bed safe and sound. If the security protocols are disabled and you are killed in the game world, then your mind believes that you are dead and induces brain-death in the real world (just like the Matrix). This is important as Evermore is a commercial MMO like World or Warcraft or Second Life. If people could be killed inside the gameworld, then nobody in their right mind would enter it. The security protocols justify the virtual world's existence while leaving the door open later for possible danger. No matter what happens throughout the novel, this general rule doesn't change. If the safeties are on, you are safe. If the safeties are off, then you can die. Thus Rule #1 is satisfied.Evermore: COTN satisfies the second rule as well: there must be threat of death or a fate worse than death. The whole plot of the novel is pushed forward because someone figures out how to bypass the security protocols and kill people at will inside the game world. This threatens the lives of everyone inside as well as the fiscal viability of the online world itself. Thus the minute the plot begins, the protagonists are very aware that they can be killed when they find the killer. They are also racing against the clock as the more time passes and the more victims appear, then it becomes more likely that the public will discover that they can die inside the game world. If the public realizes they can die, then mass panic and eventual shutdown by the authorities would ensue. Thus it satisfies the second rule: you can suffer a fate as bad or worse than death.As for the third rule, the rules that are applied early on in the novel are in place for the entire story. They never change. The security protocols remain the guarantor of safety throughout the entire novel. The audience is not surprised by a new rule and the events that fall within these rules make sense to the audience. The third rule is satisfied.But does following these rules guarantee that the the story you have written will be a success. No. As Nolan has shown, Inception is a masterpiece despite the house of cards that it's founded on. Following these three rules won't make your virtual reality story great, but it will make it coherent. To tell a good story is a far more challenging task.

Toy Story 3 and the Pixar Storytelling Magic - SPOILERS -

Last week, I had the pleasure of catching Toy Story 3 at the local multiplex. For those that don't know me, I am a huge Pixar fan ever since Ratatouille. There is no question that Pixar is the king of animation right and their storytelling prowess has drawn favorable comparisons to the best work of Walt Disney. But what is that makes Pixar's stories so compelling? When so many of their contemporaries are making movies that are leaving their audiences cold, Pixar is continually telling stories that leave their audiences overjoyed. Pixar movies are timeless classics that hold up to repeated viewings over years. The only comparable record of excellence would be Disney's animation Renaissance from 1989 to 2000.The fact that Pixar has been making excellent movies for the past fifteen years is not a surprise. What is surprising is how continually excellent storytelling has been. For us writer's, what lessons can we draw from Pixar's films? What is the secret behind Pixar's Storytelling magic?The first thing that is apparent about the Pixar films is that they are based on High-Concept ideas. The Toy Story Trilogy is based on the idea that toys are alive. Monster's Inc. takes the idea of monsters in the closet and makes them working professionals. Then it reverses the monster concept when the little girl enters their world and causes mass panic. Finding Nemo views the world through a fish's eyes. The Incredibles combines a super-hero story with a domestic drama. Cars imagines a world of sentient cars. Ratatouille tells an ironic tale of a Rat who dreams of becoming a chef. WALL-E tells the story of a robot looking for love. Up tells the story of an old man flying his tale to America.The High-Concept film has been prevalent in the Movie Industry since Jaws exploded into theaters in the 1970's but history is replete with high-concept failures. Just compare Toy Story with Small Soldiers. One is a cultural icon for a generation of children where the other has been thankfully forgotten. So if we are to learn one thing from the Pixar run of excellence, it's that while a high-concept idea is necessary, it must be matched by excellent storytelling.The second element that Pixar movies excel at is they pass the three rules of dialogue as described by Terry Rosio and Ted Elliot (Pirates of the Caribbean). These three rules are simple: writing must (a) move the plot forward, (b) develop character, (c) make the audience laugh, or preferably (d) all of the same time. The Pixar films excel at doing (d) again and again. Compare Toy Story again with Small Soldiers. Toy Story is a constant joy that creates lovable characters and moves quickly. Small Soldiers is slow, contains characters we don't really care about, and thinks fun is a four-letter word.The resonance that I love the most recent run of Pixar films is that they are more daring in what they expose their audience to. In Ratatouille, Remy gets separated from his family. In WALL-E, WALL-E is alone on a polluted planet but still yearns for love and companionship. In Up!, the first ten minutes are perhaps the most emotionally devastating ten minutes on film.In a montage, we see Carl's entire relationship with his wife Ellie. We see their courtship, their marriage, their hopes for the future, their discovery that they can't bear children, the dream to travel to South America, and Ellie's tragic death. This montage, full of sadness and sorrow, sets up the rest of the film. It establishes Carl's obsession with getting his house, a representative of Ellie, to Paradise Falls. It also makes the absurd adventure more believable in an emotional sense. In the DVD commentary, the creators admitted that for such an incredible adventure, the story must be grounded in something that the audience can identify with. A similar montage is used in Toy Story 2 to establish the emotional motivations (far superior to rational motivations) of Jessie who has been abandoned by her beloved master Emilie. By introducing an element of sorrow and tragedy into your stories, you can get the audience to identify with your characters while establishing motivation.However, it can also be used in the finale of a story. In Toy Story 3, Woody and his gang are trapped in a trash incinerator with no avenue of escape. Facing oblivion, all the toys can do is to hold hands and face death together. It is an extremely powerful scene that still causes me to well up when I think about it. The remaining scenes also contains elements of sadness as we along with Andy say goodbye to the toys, thus bringing the trilogy to an appropriate close.It is for this third reason, their boldness in appealing to emotions of sorrow and sadness, is what makes Pixar's films so powerful.Pixar's films contains storytelling magic that is hard to understand or explain. But by combining high-concept ideas, entertaining storytelling, and bold appeals to the full range of human emotions, all of his prospective writers can hope to capture some of their magic.

The Line Edit is Done

Those of you who have been following my blog will remember that I had hired Erin Stropes from kallista.ca to do a line edit of my novel Evermore: Call of the Nocturne.  I am happy to announce that she has finished and returned my annotated manuscript to me.  Or, I was happy until I found all the (valid) criticisms levelled at my baby.  But not to worry, I did what any self-respecting writer would do.  I went into the corner and cried.After a couple of hours and a couple of hundred tissues, I pulled myself from my misery and began to focus on what I needed to change.  After some thought, I identified three major issues with the plot:

1. The ending was too difficult to understand.
2. The timelock used during the story fizzles out as it approaches the deadline.
3. One of the major characters disappears without reason for half the novel.

The first problem I was able to solve last night with some clever tinkering but the other two will take weeks of work as I read through the manuscript yet again.  This will be followed by a second swing through the novel as I address the thousands of small (and yet valid) points that Erin raised.  Following these two drafts, I will have to submit it again to Erin for a final line-edit review.So while Erin's editing has levelled a blow to my self-esteem and delayed the novel's release for months, I still find that it was worth the time and the money (about $1200) to have the line edit done.  Despite all the aggravation and extra work, the end result will be a manuscript that will be far more fun to read.  Thus for those of you that are considering publishing your novel digitally on your own, I would fully recommend hiring an editor.  They truly do pick up so many things that you missed.  In fact, I would recommend three rules:

1. Hire an editor.
2. Your editor is always right.
3. Your editor is ALWAYS right (it needs to be said twice)

Follow these rules (don't forget to pay her) and you will be able to produce a manuscript that you won't be ashamed of.

Apple Offers iPad Self-Publishing

On Wednesday, Apple announced that they would be offering support for individuals seeking to self-publish to the iBook Store.  MacLife has the details at http://www.maclife.com/article/news/apple_reveals_new_service_authors_sell_their_books_directly_ibookstoreIn short, Apple will allow you to publish directly to the iBook Store if you meet the following criteria:

• The eBook must have a valid and unique ISBN number;
• The eBook must use the ePub format;
• You must have a US Tax ID;
• You must have a valid iTunes Store account with a credit card on file; and
• You must have an Intel-based Mac running OS X 10.5 or later.

All in all, this sounds pretty simple.  None of these requirements are at all difficult to get.  You can buy an ISBN through a number of services, you can Storyist (like I will) to convert your manuscript into .ePub, almost everyone has an iTunes account with their credit card ready to go, and Macs are pretty much a necessity for the serious writer anyway.Obviously, there are numerous advantages in publishing directly through Apple.  They take a smaller cut than Amazon or Smashwords, you don't have to go through an aggregator to upload your content, and the interface (like Amazon's Digital Text Platform) will be simple and elegant.  Does that mean that i'm going to change my business plan once again, avoid Smashwords and Lulu, and go straight through Apple?No.There are two reasons for this.  The first is that I don't have a US Tax ID.  This isn't really a problem as I'm certain that within the next year, Apple will expand to service to multiple countries including Canada.  That's what happened with Amazon's Digital Text Platform.  But I would prefer to publish my novel this year.  I would rather not wait if I don't have to.No, the second and bigger reason is a financial requirement that is being underreported in the press.  Under financial requirement from the iTunes Connect page (https://itunesconnect.apple.com/WebObjects/iTunesConnect.woa/wo/0.0.0.5.7.7.1), reads the following:

Apple does not pay partners until they meet payment requirements and earning thresholds in each territory. You should consider this before applying to work directly with Apple as you may receive payments faster by working with an Apple-approved aggregator.

So in other words, you have to sell a significant number of books in order to get paid.  Now in my case, I don't expect to sell more than a couple of hundred copies if I'm lucky.  Of course, this makes sense for Apple.  It would be extremely difficult if their account department had to handle hundreds of thousands of business partners, most of whom would be doing business in the single digits.  However, considering that Amazon offers a similar service without any problems, it is a little disappointing.Apple helpfully provides a link to a list of Apple-approved aggregators which you can find here.  These include the following:

• BiblioCore
• Book Baby
• Constellation
• INgrooves
• Ingram
• LibreDigital
• Lulu
• Smashwords

Now I admit, I have only heard of Lulu and Smashwords, the rest are completely new to me.  I will have to do some research into these options in order to see which service would serve me best when I launch my novel this fall.  If any of you have any thoughts or reviews about these sites, please don't hesitate to comment.So while Apple's announcement is a step in the right direction, it will only serve established authors at this point.  For us little folks, we will have to go through a third party.  Here's hoping that Apple follows Amazon's path and makes it available to everyone.

I have myself an Editor

Publication of Evermore: Call of the Nocturne is moving along quite nicely.  After some searching, I have found an editor.  Henry Baum, writer of The American Book for the Dead, recommended Erin Stropes (www.kallisti.ca) from Montreal, QC.  After reviewing Erin's work, I have hired her to do a line edit of my manuscript.  Needless to say, I have been quite pleased about the quality of work that I have received.  I have received her comments on the first few chapters and it is clear that there is still a lot of work that I still need to do.  One of the things that digital publishers must do is ensure that the quality of the manuscript is top-notch.  One error or poorly-worded phrase and the reader will assume that you are an amateur and close the book.  For an independent author to succeed, he or she must provide a superior product than what you would find in stories.  Their stories must be more original, their characters must be more interesting, and their prose has to be top-notch.  It is for this reason that I made securing an editor a top priority for this manuscript.A full line edit will set me back about $1200 and will take a couple of months to complete.  This will be followed by another couple of months of revisions on my end and then perhaps another edit if it is warranted.  It is a lot of money but at the end of the day you are selling quality.  If you are not willing to put the investment into your own work, then you are in the wrong line of work.With the editing process, a 2010 release is still possible but it's going to be tighter.  In the meantime, I will prepare one of my short-stories for release.  This will allow to learn the ins-and-outs of digital publishing on a much smaller scale.  Stay tuned for more details.